don’t let your middle school self control your life!
In 2011, I started the 7th grade.
Back then, as all young children do, I was trying to figure myself out and build my social life… except my beliefs about having friends revolved around the idea that anyone and everyone had to like me, and automatically be my friend (oh boy..).
I expected all sorts of people to be my friends, and I would try to talk to anyone in front of me.
However, that belief led me into many unfortunate situations… and it didn’t help that I was naive and couldn’t take hints.
I thought the girl who poured her cereal on my head was trying to be funny. I didn’t see it as bullying.
I thought the kid who sat behind me in orchestra asked me what piece we were playing because he wanted to be friends with me. Nope, he ended up calling me ugly when I complimented his shoes (btw that day mentally stuck with me and I thought I was the ugliest person in the world until college… but that story’s for a rainy day).
I thought the popular girl who asked about homework wanted to be my BFF - nope, she didn’t really want to have anything to do with me.
But one particular memory I have from middle school is when one of my classmates, who happened to go the same after-school academy as me, walked up to me during gym class (aka PE/physical education). We were all running on the field track outside. I was talking with my friend (girl), and he was talking with his (also a girl). He suddenly runs up to me and says, “Hey, you’re beautiful”, and ran away.
The sad part is that I wasn’t flattered at all. At first, I was like what just happened? And then I blurted out to him, “Were you joking?? Is that a joke?” I felt embarrassed and insulted.
Then, while his friend was giggling at him, she yelled back, “Have more confidence in yourself!!” Damn. She was a real one. Meanwhile, I was convinced that there was no reason for the boy to have told me I’m “beautiful”, and therefore I didn’t take it seriously.
Mannn… thinking about that day still makes me sad. I was so harsh on myself and had such low self-esteem that I thought every compliment to me was a joke, and instead saw it as someone making fun of me… somehow.
I’ve come a long way since back then, but this is one memory in my mind whenever I think about who I was at a young age. I hated my body and how I looked during my childhood, and it still mentally punches me in the gut whenever I think about it.
But one day during college, I said enough was enough. Who was I to hate myself? How could I let other people’s opinions of me hurt me so much? For what? Other people’s opinions of you don’t serve you. Also, other people’s opinions don’t pay the bills!
Starting in 2019, I gave myself the time, knowledge, and positive opportunities that I needed to set me up for success with personal growth - and you can too. When was the last time you gave yourself the time and space you needed to reflect on your growth, and your plan to grow further from now on?
In conclusion, these kinds of memories only motivate me and give me fuel now to provide positive experiences for other women and to encourage them to believe in themselves… no- we MUST believe in ourselves. Self-pity or letting our inner critics take the wheel of our lives does not help us in any way - it only harms us.
Having self-respect and belief in ourselves is the first step in any method of goal-setting. When we set a goal for ourselves, we must believe it is possible and that we are perfectly capable of doing what it takes.
You deserve to live a life filled with empowering experiences and to be surrounded by people who believe in you and your dreams. If anything, I BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOUR DREAMS.
Set a goal, make a plan, and do the work. You are so much more powerful and unbelievably blessed than you might think.
Let’s make it happen.
xoxo,
Suzanne
