read this if you’re feeling ANGRY
Alriiight, before you read on, let’s take a few deep breaths. Breathe in…. breathe out…breathe in… breathe out… okay, awesome.
We all have those days. A customer rages at you for no reason. A bad driver cuts you off. Your parents blame you for their mistakes. Whatever the reason, it’s easy to let all those annoying and crappy events pile up and boil inside of you until one day the volcano of toxic angry fire spills out and you firmly believe… that life just flat out SUCKS. especially if you’re the type of person to hold all of your emotions inside without letting anyone know until you finally burst.
Personally, I find it difficult to rant to my friends every time something ticks me off. Of course it’s good to set some boundaries so you’re not plopping the responsibility of a professional therapist onto your friends, but I wanted to find ways to manage my anger, both so that I can fix my own problems as best as I can and be responsible for my own emotions, and so that I don’t randomly lash out at people.
So far, these five methods have helped me manage my own anger better, without having to throw a chair across the room in the heat of the moment.
#1 - Study or work it off
The first one is to study or work off your anger. This might be a surprise to you, but honestly I feel that it’s been the best use of my anger so far. After you’ve had the heat of the moment and you’re in that stage of still being pretty upset or in a bleh mood or have gotten your cry session in, try studying or working on something. I’ve found it to be a sort of “distraction” from the pain and also it actually puts me in a “get your shit together” mood.
I had been putting off finishing some lessons in a course on Udemy until I thought I felt “ready”. But newsflash!! You will never “feel ready” for anything: just do it! So yea, all that waiting was getting me nowhere. Then one day I had a really crappy morning and just wanted to lay in bed and cry.
But, a little voice inside my brain just kept reminding me that I actually had things to do and appointments to go to that day. Somehow, I got up, packed my books, and went to the local cafe for a nice iced chai latte and some study space. And I found that finally getting to the modules and getting the thing over with felt like a shower of ice-cold relief being poured on my still-simmering pot of crabbiness. Basically, I was putting my anger to use instead of moping around waiting for someone to help me. Sounds a bit brutal, but that’s what really worked for me.
Also, if you work on tasks you’ve been putting off, you will feel so accomplished and proud that you got up and turned your anger into productivity instead of any kind of regret (crying doesn’t count). This can also serve as motivation to keep this habit so you can eventually work up to the point where you no longer have to come into contact with crappy people you absolutely can’t stand.
#2 - Write it out
The second habit I recommend for anger is journaling. I think journaling is quite underrated. It’s really nice to see your thoughts out on paper because it gives a sense of clarity and can help outline our thoughts in a way that is nearly impossible to do all in our head. Also, your journal won’t judge you and look at you funny for saying certain things. I think writing and doodling things can really help give some sense of comfort and the feeling that you are in control, at least in that moment.
#3 - Get movin’
The third habit you have heard more often about is just to move around. Getting yourself up and moving around can mean a lot of things, whether it’s exercising, going for a walk, cleaning the house, or simply going to another room to meditate for a couple of minutes.
Rather than just staying in bed getting swallowed by by your thoughts, moving around will at least get your blood flowing and help warm you up for the day ahead. While you’re at it, drink a cup of water. Water is my holy grail and staying hydrated with water is so, so good for you in every way, whether for improving your energy levels and brain functioning, taking care of your joints and muscles, improving your skin and mood, and helping to fight off illness in general. If you’re not up to doing some stretching or going to the gym, at least get some nice fresh water into your system.
#4 - Talk to someone
Last but not definitely not the least, is to talk to someone and possibly seek therapy or some form of professional help if you can. I’ve personally used BetterHelp during university for a short bit and being able to talk with a therapist about my life events and what’s going on helped me not only cope with past issues, but she was also a resource for me to learn more about self-help and how I can better serve my own needs.
And as with all things new, if you find that your first time with a counselor is not helpful, please don’t knock out the possibilities of finding a better fit. It is completely normal to try out different methods of therapy and meeting different therapists before you find the perfect match.
Punch a pillow and eat dat ice cream. Pain is only temporary.
Suzanne <3
