unsubscribe from tradition
Below is a passage from a book I read called The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks.
"Almost all of us have a story about why we don't access our genius. When we are within that story, it is very difficult to know that it's just a story. What makes those stories seem so real (hard to recognize as "just stories") is that they were being told before we were born. We're born into stories that keep us from accessing our genius. We grow up among those stories and become like fish that aren't aware of the water they're swimming in." (p. 108)
This passage inspired me to focus a post on breaking from tradition, or as I like to call it, "unsubscribing from tradition". There are generations of specific behaviors and mindsets passed down in our families that we're just expected to follow.
Today I want to focus on breaking away specifically from toxic patterns and behaviors. The ones that aren't serving us in a way that makes us thrive and flourish. The ones that hold us back and limit the ways we think, whether for ourselves or about other people.
I'm talking about the subtle ways that our parents treated us or the way they spoke to us, or certain things they did to us, because that's how their parents or caregivers spoke to them or did with them. And, as Hendricks puts it, many of us aren't even aware that our behaviors are due to the environment that was set up for us before we were even brought into this world.
We're born into certain environments and we all grew up a certain way based on what was right and expected of from our families. So yea, this can become a big issue when those patterns are toxic and bring us and other people down in a way that we're not even aware of.
Some hidden ways that we might exhibit toxic behaviors to ourselves or others, from what I've observed, include the way we talk to our partners or how we argue with them. I think when you're used to fighting with other people in your household often, it can feel weird or uneasy when the house is quiet or peaceful.
You're just waiting for another fight or chaotic moment to pop in and things will seem like "normal" again, even though there's conflict and you're not really enjoying any of it. But when you grow up in that kind of constant setting, that's what gets you to think that's normal.
In saying that, having self-awareness of the way you treat others can be crucial to improving yourself and your own personal development. When you become aware of any toxic behaviors you might have, you're already one step ahead of other people who just continue to ignore their own personalities and behavior. You're working to improve yourself and thus the way you think and learn is evolving and improving over time as well.
The second main point that I have for breaking from tradition is when you're actually working on content creation while surrounded by corporate folks. When you're that one person trying to build a business or a following based on creation rather than working under a corporate CEO, it can be a little scary because you're taking the route aimed for not only financial freedom, but also just to live life the way you want without being under the rule of someone else.
Fortunately, my parents were not tiger parents. My dad's a business owner and my mom's an artist. They didn't force me to pursue law or medicine just for the sake of reputation and possible financial security and honestly I will be eternally grateful for that.
Why? Because I didn't set myself up for a life where I follow the traditional path of getting a job after college, working in corporate, getting married, paying off loans, and working a job I hate until retirement. I don't want to wait until I'm 50 or 60 to be able to really dig into my passions. I wanted to start as soon as possible, and I finally realized after graduating that the time really is now.
Now, I'm making my own path. I'm setting my own traditions and behaviors that will make me thrive. Not once in a while, but all the time. 24/7. I'm making my own path and working with my passions so that I can create the life I want while constantly improving myself and helping others help themselves.
Gay Hendricks talks about this in his book and I recommend reading it to learn more about how you can create and conquer your own path. I'll link it in the show notes and my book notes will also be in the Books section of my website.
