3 things for goal setting
What exactly is “goal setting”?
Goal setting, by the courtesy of Wikipedia, is defined as involving "the development of an action plan designed in order to motivate and guide a person or group toward a goal".
So, rather than just wanting or desiring something in the moment, a goal is something that you have committed to achieving with both emotion and behavior.
Some examples might be getting a blog post uploaded by a certain date, learning a song on the piano, or being able to run a mile in a certain number of minutes. My own personal goals in the past have been to get my first podcast episode uploaded, finish university, and maintain my fitness habits for half a year.
So as you probably know, goals are important for achieving specific tasks, whether personally or in a business... But a couple of problems can show up when you set these goals and plan to take real action. You start the journey of achieving this goal and take the first steps, but some time later, you may start to feel a bit unmotivated. Doubtful. or just plain unconfident in your abilities.
These are the feelings that I want you to be aware of before you start taking action so that you can avoid them. OR, if you're already having these feelings of doubt or have a lack of clarity with what you're doing, let me tell you why it might be happening or what's holding you back.
#1 - Your “why”
The first tip for goal setting is having a strong "why". THIS is your foundation and the reason you want to achieve this specific goal. WHY do you want to do this? So, for example, WHY do you want to learn the piano or start your own business? Is it on a whim? Do you think it's cool? Do you want to make money?
The answers to these questions are extremely important because you will inevitably encounter hardships in your journey, and your WHY is the reason you KEEP. GOING. Your WHY keeps you motivated and gives you the strength you need to push through any negative feelings you might have and also if you encounter people who doubt you and who just might try to distract you with other ideas, which might lead to shiny object syndrome.
So back to the piano and business examples. A strong "WHY" for creating your own business would be that you want to be fully financially independent, set your own hours, or not have to report to a crappy boss.
For the piano example, maybe your favorite song of all time is played on the piano and you choose to devote yourself to learning it so that you can perform at your brother's upcoming wedding. So these reasons behind the actions you take for your goals are MUCH stronger and will keep you going for much longer rather than just saying that learning piano is cool or Instagram-worthy, or something superficial like that.
#2 - Your worth does not come from people’s opinions of you
The second tip for goal setting is not basing your self-worth on other people's opinions. But even before that, let me just say, you are not defined by the numbers - so, that might be the number of followers you have, how much is in your bank account right now, etc.
You should instead be owning up to the content you create or the abilities and skills that you actually have, and what makes you special. You're already unique because there is literally no one else in the world with your specific set of DNA, right.. But aside from that, you have the potential to create anything you want or to learn a specific set of skills.
Using Google or reading books at the library are free - use these tools to your advantage to manifest your greatest ideas.
Now, going back to the main point - your self-worth is NOT dependent on other people's opinions. Whether it's your best friend, your mom, a total stranger on the Internet, whoever - their opinions of you are none of your business. It's a tough pill to swallow, I know, but embracing that idea will help free up so much mental space and what you spend your precious time and energy on.
Now, I'm not saying to completely shut everyone out and say no to feedback or constructive criticism from people who genuinely want to help you. Also, if you have an idea or wanna pursue something, look up what the experts in that area are doing or not doing.
Here's an example. Let's say you've been wanting to start a YouTube channel for so many years and finally get that first video uploaded. You feel that sense of glowing accomplishment and the rush of adrenaline from uploading your first piece of content onto the Internet. A few days pass and you get a lot supportive comments from friends and family, they're all rooting for you. But then you see one comment from a stranger, and they call you cringey.
So what do you do? Do you shrink into a ball and start thinking about all that time you wasted on editing the video and uploading it? Do you start to think thoughts of self-hate and call yourself dumb for even trying? Now some of you may say, "maybe for a few seconds", but ultimately you say NO!
That comment made no difference to your thought process of creating a video and there was absolutely no constructive feedback to improve your work in any way. Who cares what this person thinks of your work! Is it even a person or a bot? Are you going to care about this comment in a year or 5 years?? NO.
I want you to feel uplifted by your own work, by your content, and confident in your own abilities and it makes it so much more difficult if you start by wasting your energy on an audience that doesn't appreciate and need you.
#3 - Stop comparing your journey to others’
The third thing I wanna mention for goal setting is unfair comparison. So this is not to be confused with unrealistic expectations. Of course I want you to reach for the stars and climb your own mountain. But the unnecessary problems roll in once you start continuously comparing yourself with no real purpose. If you say to me, "But I want to see what other people are doing!" Okay sure. But how are you talking to yourself during this process of just comparing yourself?
Are you saying to yourself, "You know... I really wanna do this, but that person does it so much better and they should just do it." Okay, but you know, you're just starting out, and you're comparing yourself to someone who's been doing their thing for 5, 10 years. That's a really unfair matchup.
It can be helpful to research experts in your field or people who are doing what you wanna be doing - but do NOT shame or blame yourself for not being a match to the experts - it's just not something you can fairly compare. You will eventually get to the top if that's where you truly want to be with persistence, patience, and confidence that you can keep going. and remembering your why.
The last and shortest tip I have for goal setting is to just write things down. Some or a lot of you might relate to this - but having all of your thoughts and ideas in your head can get really overwhelming.
When you have a great idea, write it down somewhere you can easily access and come back to later. It'll engrain the thought and may even inspire a spark in you to pursue it. Today, not tomorrow. today, just do it.
You are fierce. You GOT THIS.
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"Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go." ~ Rick Warren
"When you feel like quitting, remember the reason you started." ~ unknown
